so its not surprising that im doing a Divine feminine sadhana and all the left side of my body starts to go haywire. the left side of my sinus have had me with a wicked headache for the last 3 days... pushing into the left side of my head. then today i wake with a crink in my neck on the left side and shoulder.
ive held allot in this left shoulder for a very very long time. when i get acupuncture done on it i get crazy images of times gone by. most of them extremely unpleasant.
and on top of my left shoulder severely limiting my range of motion in my neck today, my left sciatic is also pinching. awesome.
so what does it all mean? well... the left is the feminine. to receive. to hold. to soften. to come out of "doer" the rajasic active mind. and into a sattvic being. the left is also ida nadi. the parasympathetic nervous system. that which innately runs. that you dont think about... heart, lungs etc. the core that keeps going when your not thinking.
so what do i make of it? its another layer of unfurling. an opportunity to connect at a deeper level to my innate being. the piece that is unchanged, lifetime after lifetime, atma. and the pain that is held there are the peices of fear that feels like i need to "do" something. its the peices of me that function from the ego. from the individual perspective. the pieces that dont trust. that dont completely receive.
as these physical things rise to the surface, thier emotions and mental beliefs peel away and then a choice is made. hold on... or let go. i choose let go. let go of the pieces that operate from the individual. and allow myself to sink deep into the warm soothing waters of the mother. jai ho!
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