Laying... but no eggs.

Unlikely friends...

Post Christmas Glow...

Firstly, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  That there an abundance of food, but not too much, drink flowing, but not over flowing and family celebrating as only families know how.

Our christmas was an intimate one.  Just the 3 of us, at Niwas.  We played, we cooked, we talked! It was just such a wonderful day.  Much needed, and forever cherished.

The animals seem to be all in good spirits as well.  All chickens are healthy and running around.  Even little firebird who had frost bite on her feet is doing well.  One of her feet fell off... and now she has a stump.  but it dosnt seem to be slowing her down and there is no pain or infection.  The other foot, is probably not far behind but im sure she will be fine.  

Honey duck (our male muskovie), having just lost his mate last week seems to be doing well hanging out with the 3 other boys.  He has no idea what luck he is in,  just a few more days and he will have 3 new girls to look after!

The goats are doing well,  Poppy is getting bigger, but seeing as this is our first time with a (hopefully) pregnant goat, im not sure how big she is supposed to be... but she's due first week of feb so only time will tell.  As soon as she gives birth we will be watching for Cedar to go into heat and have her mated... then she will be due July.

Simon, the lovely Alpaca,  is just doing his thing...   he hates to be touched... and im trying not to ignore the fact that in the next few months im going to have to deworm him (as a precaution, not because he has worms)... and i need to figure out how to get him to hold still.

The kittens are big bellied and joyful little critters.  Its a joy to watch them interact with their mama.  Running to the solar shed when they think i'm coming to give them a little food... 

It is a blessed life to live amongst animals.  I always had a dogs as a kid and they were wonderful.  But to watch, interact and be a guardian to multiple different animals is quiet something else... 

Im day dreaming about having eggs for sale,  6 different colors.  Rainbow dozens.  and now have to decide to invest in an incubator or not...   much cheaper to buy fertilized eggs and incubate them yourself.  But the incubators start at $350ish (new) so might have to buy day old chicks, (which is considerably more expensive)  Im looking to the universe for signals,  so will just sit and watch that one for a few weeks to see what presents itself.  (maybe a borrowed incubator, or a 2nd hand one...)

But on this boxing day (why is it called boxing day?)  we are cleaning up, and doing farm chores.  Sitting in the glow of family and gratitude...

And then there was One.

I have often heard people say that farming is not for the faint of heart.   And while I don't have the experience of whole crops, an entire years earning, devastated in a storm or such.  We are but a small homesteading operation.  But i am getting to understand it in our relationship of life/death an non attachment, or in yoga speak, Vairagya.

Chickens for better or worse have found a spot on my heart.  We got 8 x 1 day old chicks this summer, to add to the 6 laying hens and rooster that were to help make a decent offering of daily eggs next spring.  To say you shouldn't get attached to a living being is near on impossible.  As a woman, a mother, a human being... its the reason babies are so cute, so you get attached to them.  So you get up at 3am to heat up their hot water bottle.  1 day turns into a week, a month and they grow, they get feathers and when you call them they all come running to you in anticipation of vege-type treats.

So when one gets taken by a hawk.  You say "ok... we all gotta eat.  Down to 7 i guess."  And the rest continue to grow,  so big that you have to start really thinking which one is which,  Chocolate, Paper, Tree, Dragon... All different shades of black.    Then your favorite, Princess,  the one who was the first to bond, to eat out of your hand, to come running to your call, doesn't come back after a day of forging, then 2 days later the other little one "Little Bear" doesn't come back... it seems ok though.  If its a predator getting them,  you have to respect the cycle of mother nature.

But then it starts to get cold,  one of the main hens doesn't look good...  you start to research what it might be,  worms? mites? lice? parasites?  This becomes a complex fight with an unseen predator.  One that seems less worthy of my 3am hot water bottles than the hawk or the fox.

They sit by the front door... "help" they say through the body language of lethargic eyes, puffed up feathers and an unwillingness to even duck their head for some water.

"Your a farmer" i say to myself  "this is part of it... figure it out... and let go".  And you do... but out of our 8 little chicks, the majority who made it all the way to full grown pullets,  but yet to lay an egg... 1 remains.  little Fire Bird.  So small that I'm not sure how anything but a miniature chocolate easter egg could ever come out of her.  She huddles by the fireplace, unknowing that her sisters are gone.

Seems all dramatic. The reality of it is, or isn't. Depending on how your wired i guess.   But its hard not to humanize an animals experience.  To be emotionally disconnected to our feathered friends.

That is what the human experience is all about isnt it?  Not the grief inducing attachment.  But the willingness to fully feel within all the comings and goings in our lives.  To be Born, Meet the "other", Name, Love, Take care, and let go... over and over and over... until we no longer see a difference from the waives cresting and the waves receding... only looking at the ocean of oneness.