The Value of a Life.

Homesteading is hard work.  Not the kind of hard work where you want to give up, but the kind that supports your growth as a soul, as a human, makes you face the tough questions.  Homesteading puts life into perspective, right down to its core of life and death.

In the West we are so afraid of death.  We acquaint it with failure, with loss, with something we have to fight against.  But this life, in all its dualism, is a beautiful mess,  a tragic celebration, a cherished agony, homesteading.

The last couple of months at Niwas have been a lesson in just that... life and death.

As a homesteader, a farmer, life and death is not as emotional as off the land.  It has a price tag. And i don't mean that cruelly, but honestly.   6 or so weeks ago our pied (black and white) Muskovy ducks started to get sick.  The others were fine,  but these 3, one by one... got sick and died.  It was distressing, frustrating, sad.  It was a dilemma i had never had been faced with before, well, not since the 6 chickens died at the beginning of the winter, but at that time i was in shock, and survival mode, not so much the witness of my experiance. You see, you have ducks on a farm for 3 reasons.  Eggs, Meat and fly control.  We are vegetarian, so meat dosn't really count,  and they arnt laying... so really its fly control that we have them for.

As they got sick, (which seemed to be starting with frozen swollen feet, to lethargy, to death) i had to come to terms that beyond basic first aid (cleaning and warming their feet, separating them with food so they didn't have to compete to eat) it wasn't realistic to have them get better.  I tried everything i knew, and the reached out to the duck community to ask for their advice, wisdom and suggestions... but the last option was the vet,  of which they said they didn't have the expertise and the duck would have to be flown to vancouver. Which would mean hundreds of dollars.  Even if the vet could handle it,  you walk through the door and its $60.  A Muskovy duck fetches between $20 - $40 on average.    So the 3 pied ducks died... nursed by myself to the end, but the end came for each.

Then came Prem.  Our first baby buckling who we spent hours intervening to give him the best start in life. Too weak to stand up, he couldn't get the nutrients he needed, and it was -20 so hypothermia was a certainty.  His umbilical cord was thickened.  Possible hernia, but i didn't think so.  On all other accounts he seemed as healthy as can be.

When you name something Prem (love) and you strip your clothes to give him the kangaroo, skin to skin, heart to heart,  treatment so that he will survive you can bet there is an emotional connection.  There is for all the animals,  but in varying degrees.

So when his umbilical cord got infected and didn't look like it was going to fall off like it needed too we got again in the same predicament, the value of his recovery vs. the value of his life.  A stud buck (which we were hoping him to be) costs around $100 - $150.  For a meat buckling your looking at $50 - $75.  To go to the vet, your looking at $60 for the consult, $50 for antibiotics, and $300 for surgery. 

Where do you draw the line?  It is not viable from a business stand point to pay $300+ to have a healthy goat that realistically could be 2-3 healthy goats for the same money.  Never for a moment would I want anyone, animal or human to suffer even a minute but you also cant emotionally be spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on every animal at the vets.  This is why a basic understanding and kit for first aid is crucial and having a husband thats a nurse comes in handy as well - he's not afraid of needles.

We decided to invest in Prem and took him to the vets for an ultrasound to see if it was a hernia or not. (A hernia is when the internal organs protrude the outside of the body because the abdominal wall is torn)   It wasn't, thank goodness, and with the consult and the antibiotics came to just over $100.  So we were lucky.

But to be extremely honest with you, there were tears,  trying to way up all the scenarios, the outcomes, the treatment options.  The pressure was huge,  the feeling that this being's life was in your hands and pragmatism had to play a part.  It was such and oxymoron.  To have to decide the value of a life.

And then there was Naata,  the Great Pyrenees puppy that ate a skunk with his mother on Saturday,  drove from Manitoba to Alberta on Sunday, from Alberta to us on Monday,  wouldn't eat on Tuesday and was dead by Wednesday.  Really?  was 24 hours long enough for such an emotional attachment to a little being that my streams of tears for hours was warranted?  understandable?  Or was it the helplessness,  the shock itself that elicits such grief?  Or maybe its a slight relief that i didn't have to make the decision,  that it was made for me between dusk and dawn.  We didn't even realize he was sick, we thought that he was depressed from being separated from his family,  scared of his new surroundings.  Its possible it was bone fragment ingested by eating the skunk that pierced his internal organs.  But even that is speculation,  one that gives me comfort.  So i hold on to it.

Why do we so fiercely fight death?  Why do we so strongly hold onto this reality? How do we love fully without attachment?

Maybe a short life as a duck is a huge blessing.  Maybe cycling through a glimpse of time as a puppy is all that is needed to clear the karmas at hand.  This for me is where faith comes in.  Acknowledging that I don't know the answers,  that when I make any decision on the well-being of our animals its from a place of love, of concern, of ultimate good.  Not from a place of emotional attachment.

Its such a strange reality we live in.  Where we have to consider the value of a life in terms of money.  Even humans get to the point where they draw a line on the cost of treatment vs. their attachment to life.

People think that homesteading is romantic.  It can be.  But its also hard work, especially on the inside.

Sometimes Love comes as a surprise.

Prem Goati - our little Love Goat was born on Friday the 7th Feb at Noon.  This is related to The Great Debate    post back in December as to if Poppy was pregnant or not... thinking no, she was taken back for breeding last month.  

So you can imagine my surprise on Friday when Paramjyoti went to give the goats some water and came out yelling like there was a cougar in the yard!   Narayan started yelling. "baby goat mum there's a baby goat!".

It took us 4 hours to get him responsive.  Not sure how long he had been there (maybe as long as 2 hours since we did the watering last) but he was initially bleating, but then quickly got very quiet and non responsive.  We took him back out to his mum to see if she would nudge him into life but at -25 it quickly became apparent that we needed to get him warm and fast.

We put him in a warm bath, submerging his body but keeping his head up.  Dripping some colostrum into his mouth, one drip at a time. (Yes suddenly we also had to learn how to strip and milk mama goat...)

He seemed to go to sleep and although was warm on the outside his mouth was still cold.  So we decided to Kangaroo him.  I stripped from the waste up and got a hot water bottle.  Sandwiched him in between me and the hot water bottle with his head on my heart.  I wrapped us both up in a towel and sat in front of the woodstove...  After about 30 mins of this... he started to make noises and twitch his limbs.

 Meanwhile Paramjyoti was figuring out how to get more colostrum out of Poppy who was in clear distress that her baby was gone.   Too cold to take him back outside he has slept the first 2 nights by the fire and will again tonight.  Spending visits outside with mum,  at -20 - -9 its still too cold to leave him out there for too long.  He was very weak, but on day 2 now, he is starting to get curious about his new world.


Welcome to the Niwas family Prem!

The Great Debate

So... its up in the air as to wether or not Poppy is pregnant...
With 5 weeks to go, its hard to tell...   if she has 1 kid in there, its pretty standard not to be seeing allot... if theres more than 1, well then,  theres probably none. :(

We can get her bred again, thats no problem... but its 5 months of antisi-pation, and a whole bunch of hay with no milk! (or cheese for that matter).

so... anyone want to take a guess? a bet? a intuitive nuzzel?  do you think she is???

Post Christmas Glow...

Firstly, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  That there an abundance of food, but not too much, drink flowing, but not over flowing and family celebrating as only families know how.

Our christmas was an intimate one.  Just the 3 of us, at Niwas.  We played, we cooked, we talked! It was just such a wonderful day.  Much needed, and forever cherished.

The animals seem to be all in good spirits as well.  All chickens are healthy and running around.  Even little firebird who had frost bite on her feet is doing well.  One of her feet fell off... and now she has a stump.  but it dosnt seem to be slowing her down and there is no pain or infection.  The other foot, is probably not far behind but im sure she will be fine.  

Honey duck (our male muskovie), having just lost his mate last week seems to be doing well hanging out with the 3 other boys.  He has no idea what luck he is in,  just a few more days and he will have 3 new girls to look after!

The goats are doing well,  Poppy is getting bigger, but seeing as this is our first time with a (hopefully) pregnant goat, im not sure how big she is supposed to be... but she's due first week of feb so only time will tell.  As soon as she gives birth we will be watching for Cedar to go into heat and have her mated... then she will be due July.

Simon, the lovely Alpaca,  is just doing his thing...   he hates to be touched... and im trying not to ignore the fact that in the next few months im going to have to deworm him (as a precaution, not because he has worms)... and i need to figure out how to get him to hold still.

The kittens are big bellied and joyful little critters.  Its a joy to watch them interact with their mama.  Running to the solar shed when they think i'm coming to give them a little food... 

It is a blessed life to live amongst animals.  I always had a dogs as a kid and they were wonderful.  But to watch, interact and be a guardian to multiple different animals is quiet something else... 

Im day dreaming about having eggs for sale,  6 different colors.  Rainbow dozens.  and now have to decide to invest in an incubator or not...   much cheaper to buy fertilized eggs and incubate them yourself.  But the incubators start at $350ish (new) so might have to buy day old chicks, (which is considerably more expensive)  Im looking to the universe for signals,  so will just sit and watch that one for a few weeks to see what presents itself.  (maybe a borrowed incubator, or a 2nd hand one...)

But on this boxing day (why is it called boxing day?)  we are cleaning up, and doing farm chores.  Sitting in the glow of family and gratitude...

Say Cheese!

Its been a dream, a passion, ok lets be real, an obsession in our family to be able to make really good homemade cheese.  I come from a dairy rich country, New Zealand, where cheese and milk is really good quality, and for the most part fairly affordable.  So coming to north america were "american" plastic cheese is the norm is extremely disappointing.

Eating cheese that is any good in Canada and you will need a small line of credit just to keep up, especially at the rate that we eat it.  So making it, is really one of the only ways we can really guarantee what we are eating.  Over this summer we mastered Mozzarella.  Served with Niwas grown tomatoes, and basil, drizzled with balsamic reduction... it was heaven on a plate.

Yesterday thanks to the great people at the New England Cheese Making Supply Company ,  which I learnt about after reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver, (Can you imagine lying on a 2 inch mattress in rural India dreaming about the first home grown asparagus of the season?) we decided to jump in and give it a whirl.

So yesterday the parcel arrived.   Everything we will need to make Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Mozzarella, Feta, Kefir and Goats Cheese, which is going to be our main cheese come February when Poppy gives birth!

So today is no longer known as Thursday, but cheddar day.  Apparently its going to take about 2 months to be ready,  so come February first, (about the same time the Goats milk will start flowing) we will be ready and waiting to bite into our first Niwas Cheddar Cheese...

Gearing up for the milk...

So this is Poppy.  She and Cedar are the first goats at Niwas.  She's had a bit of a rough start to life and was rescued from a place that was neglecting the heard.  So, understandably she's a bit skittish... but she's a sucker for oats.

It looks like, and we very much hope so, Poppy is with kid, or, by the looks of her maybe even two!

She's going to be due around the first week of February, and i'm already starting to get antsy about the birth.  "They" say that 99% are very smooth, but its always that 1% of births that need help, or intervention for the sake of the mama, and/or the kid.

The wonderful thing though, is that the Homesteading community in the 3 hour radius of where we are, are wonderful, helpful and encouraging to newbies.  It definitely has the vibe, the more free ranging, the better.  So help is a phone call or a Facebook away. (for all its evils, it has its pros)

So come February, Niwas will have its own Goats Milk and Cheese.  Not for sale of course, thats a wild rats nest of legal laws and hoops.  But for personal use...  and to practice making cheese.  All going well though, it is in the 5 year plan to get a small commercial kitchen and legally be able to supply goats cheese from the farm.

But i still cant help but wonder,  what if i don't like the taste! Sounds silly, all this effort, 6 months of tending to this animals every need,  to not even like the product.  But ive never been a big milk drinker, unless its got some sort of chocolate powder in it.  (Silly Cow Drinking Chocolate for example - found at #sproutgrocery) So many people say you cant tell the difference.  But i wonder if its a coke, pepsi thing... cause i can definitely tell the difference.

Time till tell... and ill let you know how it goes.  Do you have any experience with goats milk?