The Presence of Christmas....

Firstly may I say,  Merry Christmas to all of you reading this.  I don't mean this flippantly,  I really mean,  may your life be filled with the merriment of your mass (union) with Christ consciousness.  cause, thats what its about right?  well, for me anyway... and lets face it... we need to say merry christmas every day, not just on the 25th December.

So i'm sitting here on a crisp and stunningly crystal clear snow laden christmas morning.  Hot cup of liquid balm wrapped among my fingers as I sit and watch the sun make its slow and remarkable rise into the sky.  It really is night and day in perspective once the sun hits a tree.  it moves from the black and white contrast of flat shapes before dawn,  to a brilliant firing of greens and golds as each ray touches its branches.

Watching Narayana play amongst the "things" he has unwrapped, like a locomotive with momentum, devouring everything in its path,  only briefly stopping to make sure that in fact the tag has a word starting with "N" on it, which means it must be for him.

"Things",  3D forms symbolizing love and remembrance.  Not really about the things at all,  but in the remembrance of the connection made with the person that has sent the gift to you, you experience that presence rather than presents is truly the gift of life.

Our tree,  for the most part an unconscious ritual of "what we do at christmas", seems to take on a new life for me this morning.  It tells me a tale of symbolism, of significance, of its place in the ceremony of life that we are actually celebrating.

We take a tree (of life),  and wrap it in light.  We call in the orbs of the ancestors and light beings that blur the dimensional realm,  mix them in with the quirky  memories of our human existence,  the tree decorations that you've had for... years.  Each time taking you back to the remembrance of where you were when you got it,  how it came to be,  why you kept it.  A real tree I feel is important,  for what in life truly has value without the understanding and acknowledgement of sacrifice, something that must be given up, in order to beckon the new?  In gratitude our tree offers itself, its life to be consumed and transformed into its place of ritual.

So we have a totem of life, of sacrifice, of light and of the orbs of ancestors and beings that connect us beyond the mundane.  And we offer it gifts.  We wrap our tokens of love in the surprise of the unknown, we let them sit,  bake, under the light of life, for days, weeks,  letting each 'presence' be infused with the magic of love and light that is the christ consciousness.  Like prasaad at a Havan,  after it has been offered to the alter,  we then consume it ourselves,  allowing that energy to be taken into our being.  Thus,  we unwrap the presents.  The tokens of 'presence' that keep the connections of love between family, friends, community.

So let the gifts of this day be conscious, let it be filled with heart opening remembrance, and may the light of Christ consciousness fire your being into the brilliance of life that you are.  And have yourself a very merry christmas now....

labyrinth day 11 - harvesting the moment.

so i tried to take a movie of it... but i didnt have enough space on my phone to fit the file.  clearly she didnt want to be immortalized through film.  however i did manage a few more photos of her today.  space and things that people have made as an offering to her.  leaving a little bit of their shakti back with it...

the air is crisp today.  the perfect fall day.  no clouds,  about 10 degrees.  there is an air of nourishment about it.  the question "what do i need to take care of, so that i am nourished through the winter.  what food?  what warmth?  what joy?"  these are what i think about... and then im flooded with gratitude.  for, i have options.   we all do.

  Krishna and Radha sit against the rose quartz which holds the point of confluence for the labyrinth.   all lines, all roads, lead to love.

tiny rocks bathed by Ma Ganga, now sit in the sun of Niwas.

Dragonflys,  always such an omen to me of the Divine mothers blessings... 

instead of spending these days wishing for summer to come back,  what can you do to harvest THIS moment,  so that the winter to come is one of deeper and intense nourishment, rather than survival till the sun comes back.  

labyrinth day 4. - Creativity, Sex, Love and God.

hi sweet one.

yes... today has been sweet.

we have baked bread since first thing this morning, for tonights market.  and although the oven has been too cool and we have had to refire it a few times,  it has gone very smoothly.

days like today when things click i wonder "what makes today different"?

i listened to a great interview on Q the other day with Jian and the lead singer from bleacher,  Jack Antonoff.  and i was really comforted but what he said about his experience of anxiety, and how that when the creative flow is flowing,  you just gotta go with it.   (for full interview click here - totally worth it... and great music.

and it got me thinking about Creativity, Sex, Love and God.  maybe or maybe not in that order.  and i started to think about my experience of frequencies that i have when i feel connected to the Divine/God, like today, and frequencies where i don't, like the last few days.    and im starting to think they all might be closer in connection than i originally realized.  now, im not saying that every-time i experience sex, put pen to paper, or sing,  i feel closer to god,  however, i do think there is a portal there,  a glimpse of something transcendent.

It is this same glimpse that i feel when i feel like writing poetry (im not saying its good poetry, but it comes from a place that is in the creative frequency), its the same glimpse when i look at narayan or paramjyoti and think,  "holy hell, how did i get so lucky"?  That really,  in each of these experiences what i am experiencing is the portal to the divine, i am experiancing gods love, through that human moment.  Its that connection that i crave,  that i sometimes wonder is it worth living without it?

its what keeps me going.  and it dosnt have to be all of them either,  somedays its singing to the divine through kirtan,  or even singing bb king that brings it through (one of the most holy of concerts i have ever been to).  sometimes its writing, or before my family it would be through painting.  sometimes its through making love.  opening to love, being love.  often,  like an organism,  its the build up to the creative burst that actually is more tantalizing than the grand event.   This,  is the root teaching of tantric sex,  to use this sexual energy to create that portal, and use it to experience god rather than the humanness of desire.

but today as i walked Ma Labyrinth (and suddenly wondering about the connection to the word Labia) i couldn't help but chant the Maha Mantra all the way around.  through pure joy.  i couldn't help but do so.   today, wether its looking at the wonder that is narayan,  writing this blog, or singing the name of krishna, that today... contentment reigns, connection is felt, and gratitude exudes.  i feel alive.

The Chaos in the Shrimp Glumbo

As we step into the Winter Solstice tomorrow everything seems well... a bit dark.

Seems that this last full moon on Tuesday morning has been fairly intense for people... either directly or once removed.

People I know directly have been somewhat displaced with illness, car accidents, family members diagnosed with cancer, friends about to pass over, relationship arguments, workplace upheaval to name just a few.

I myself seem to be in a bit of a funk.  Trying to find the balance between not wallowing, but not suppressing either... being OK with the ebb in the flow.  Im trying to watch it,  but my husband says i'm eating too much 'Shrimp Glumbo'.

Regardless of whether or not the outside world seems to be in chaos,  the inside world, mentally, emotionally is defiantly asking to be purified.  To let go of the bitter heart, the illusion of attachment, and needing for things to be other than they are.   Remembering that the outside is but a mirror image of the inside reality.

Seems to me my soul is asking for a balm of simple pleasures, a mantra, a song, a few words of kindness, given, and received.

On the outside we crave the sunlight, but on the inside we need to seek the path to Divines light.  That is eternal, no seasons, no ebb, always flowing...

But how to do we get there?  How do we find that quiet, peaceful content place inside in amongst the chaos?  Gratitude,  thats where I start.  Its the TNT that cracks the wall of despair.  Because sometimes even on the darkest days, the light is there.  Its there, you just need to close your eyes to see it.