The Elongated Blink - the gem in human connection.

Human connection.  Its a phenomenon that is becoming rare and prized as an anomaly as our lives get sucked through the flat screens of our phones.  We talk too much,  while saying very little.  Its all fluff and extremely draining.   Even the standard "hi, how are you" as you rush around the supermarket to the person you see 4 times a year, usually in the supermarket, can be translated into,  "i know who you are and therefore should converse with you to be polite, so you don't think i'm a horrible person,  but i don't actually want to know really how you are,  i'm in a hurry, so are you, and lets face it, you don't really want to tell me.  and by the way,  in not a horrible person. i just have forgotten how to connect"   "hi, how are you?"   All speed,  No substance.  Our lives have become superficial.  Sometimes even with the ones closest to us.

But in Rikhiapeeth, the ashram in India we go to every year to deepen our experience of karma yoga,  there is very little "chat".  Its not that we don't chat with each other at times,  but its the caboose in the train of human interaction.  Not the engine.  The engine is the souls venerability.  Once this has been expressed,  we have something to chat about.

Otherwise,  in the ashram, we often don't talk to people unless its task/karma yoga orientated.  However, even though we don't run around asking each other how we are all the time,  the place is full of connections...  real, human, connection.  We have this unspoken gesture which i call "the elongated blink".   Ive never heard anyone mention it before,  but its real, and I experience it every time I go there.  It makes my heart soar.  It is a wonderful way to connect with another human without a single word,  and with tremendous amounts of substance. Its the start button in the trains engine and it goes like this.   You look at someone,  you make eye contact,  you blink once in slow motion while thinking 'hi,  i see you, how are you? i see how you are'.  then as you open your eyes you make a small smile,  to acknowledge you see they are ok,  a slight roll of the eye to acknowledge you can see they are in the craziness of all thats going on around them,  or a slight frown to show that you see they are sad, or upset.    See what that is?  everything you do, is to communicate what you see in them.  NOT what is coming from you...  to be seen all you do is humbly open your heart and they,  in turn, see you...

So the connection is not a handing off of information about how you are,  but a receiving about the other person.  In turn they do the same for you.  Acknowledging this,  you both feel seen.  Which is, after-all, what most of us really crave isn't it?  To be really seen?    This is connection.

While in truth, this exchange takes mere moments to complete... in reality,  it seems like its done in slow motion.  The hearts connect in honestly, venerability.  Seeing, and being seen in a mutual transaction.  It sounds too simple,  maybe even idiotic.  But i promise you,  true, honest, human connection is seated in the essence of joy.

Can we stop talking to each other and can we start seeing each other instead?   Allowing those moments to add together into a day filled with morsels of soul connected  Love.

So,  my mission to you,  is to try it... try the elongated blink with someone and write blow what your experience is...

with love.
shiv